Perhaps you’d like to get talking with someone from overseas but there are all sorts of things you worry about:
For starters, what attitudes will help us overcome some of these worries? Here are my tips…
A. I don’t need to know lots about a person’s culture or religion before I befriend them. We’re certainly both human beings and most likely we share the same gender. So what we have in common significantly outweighs our differences. Both of us are made in God’s image… have fallen short of his glory… respond to warm, loving relationships… fear death… look for meaning in our lives… feel guilty about wrong-doing… and can be redeemed through Jesus Christ.
View this friendship as a journey of discovery about another culture or religion. Listen carefully, watch closely and be kind. Most people love to guide someone through their traditions and customs. And as they share their values, we can do the same. Our ignorance of someone’s beliefs becomes a wonderful opportunity to talk about spiritual matters. Ask questions about their religion; then show them how it compares with the Christian good news.
B. My relationship with this person could be hugely significant. It’s quite possible that I’m the only native Brit to befriend them. Most language students only ever meet English-speakers in a professional capacity and their friends are all foreign language-learners like themselves. Ex-pat communities provide much of what their fellow-countrymen need, resulting in little contact with Brits, let alone friendships. More importantly, I may be the first real Christian that this person has met. So we have both a tremendous opportunity and incentive to get to know them.
C. However stressful it is for me to talk to a language-learner, it’s far more stressful for them. They may struggle to formulate questions and answers in English, or to make themselves understood. They may feel ashamed of their lack of English, and confused about what this new culture expects of them. They will feel frustrated that they can’t express themselves adequately. Like you they fear being embarrassed.
If you’ve ever tried to use rusty foreign-language “skills” on holiday abroad, you’ll understood the pressure and panic caused by attempting even basic conversations in a second language. But despite this, for most language-learners, a conversation with a native English-speaker is a real bonus.
D. Don’t underestimate the value of compassion, a servant heart, and a self-deprecating sense of humour. These will get us through most of the misunderstandings and odd embarrassments that can occur in cross-cultural relationships. Internationals are human too—like us they respond to kindness, apologies and the funny side of things.
Anne is an editor at the Good Book Company and active in teaching the Bible to internationals, women and children. She is married to Pete, with two grown children.
