Loving the Lonely (from 6 feet away)

Do you know anyone who’s lonely? My guess is you do—and maybe more people than you think. Research shows that 19% of people who work from home suffer from loneliness. But those stats come from before the lockdown. Since then, with many more of us working from home unexpectedly, the figures are likely to rise.

Last year I read an article about loneliness that said for some people the only contact they have in a day is with a bus driver. “That’s me,” I thought. Since I live on my own and work part-time, I can have two or three days a week when the regular driver—a chatty Italian—is the only person I talk to.

But again that was before lockdown. Now we’re told to avoid buses if possible, and if we do travel, we get on at the back with instructions to stay well away from the driver. All I can do is wave and shout a “Thank you” down the length of the bus.

So it’s got me thinking: how can we love the lonely in lockdown?

How does God love the lonely? Intimacy, security, community

Psalm 91 tells us that the Lord gathers his children like a mother bird gathers her chicks and protects them under her wings.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.” …
He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. (Psalm 91 v 1-4)

I love that picture. And I really love it right now as it reminds me that the Lord isn’t limited by any virus!

Think of the intimacy described in these verses. God holds us. He hugs us. He draws us close. There’s no 6 foot rule here. When God is the one gathering us in, we are as safe and close to him as it is possible to be. No virus can prevent it, and no government rules can ban it. We are his.

Along with intimacy, God also gives his children security. Loneliness feels even worse in the face of something we once had but then lost. Remembering a precious relationship that we no longer have—maybe they moved away, perhaps they died, or simply stopped being our friends—that loss makes us feel all the more alone. But our Lord isn’t like that. He will never leave us, never die, never change his mind about us. In him there is security for ever.

As well as intimacy and security, the Lord also gives us community. When God is our Father, then every other Christian becomes a brother or sister. We don’t live as Christians on our own. We have a family.

God’s intimacy isn’t reduced by Covid-19. His security isn’t weakened. But what about the family? Has social distancing destroyed the community we need?

How can we love the lonely?

My Christian family know that I am alone, and finding it hard. Here are just some of the things they have done to help. Maybe these will spark ideas for how you can love the lonely as well:

• Send a card. Emails and texts are lovely to have, but you can’t put them on the mantelpiece. I have treasured the cards I’ve been sent.
• “Meet” to chat. A conversation on the doorstep, even though socially-distanced, brings the joy of being face to face with a Christian brother or sister.
• Invite to the park. I have loved being invited to the park at the same time as a friend with two young boys. The boys climb trees. My friend as I stand well apart and chat.
• A handmade gift. It’s three months since my hair was last cut. It flops into my eyes like the British PM Boris Johnson. So a friend made me a headband to keep it out of my eyes. Now I look like the American tennis player John McEnroe, but the headband still makes me smile every time I see it.
• Board games by Zoom. One of our church homegroups are playing weekly board games by Zoom. Knowing that I was lonely, they invited me to join them. It’s fun, and I have felt truly welcome.
• Show and Tell. Our church craft group is a low-key way to welcome new people into the building and share the gospel. Our monthly meetings are now on Zoom, where we “show and tell” the things we’ve been creating that month. And the linked WhatsApp group allows us to share photos of anything we finish (always a moment of celebration!). We even have one of our missionaries linking in from Africa.
• Church livestream. Like many churches, we now livestream our Sunday services. It’s amazing how the simple act of joining in at the same time as everyone else helps me to feel part of the family.

And here are a couple of things I’ve started myself that help me feel I belong:

• Praying for each other. I really miss being able to chat to people in the office, find out how they are, and pray for them. So for the past two months I’ve been sending emails to different people asking how I can pray. It’s a very easy thing to set up, but it really helps me to feel connected to my brothers and sisters as I read their replies and bring them before the Lord in prayer.
• Rainbows. Are the windows of your local houses full of rainbows? Mine are. Coloured by children, often with a note saying “Thank you, NHS”. We have a rainbow download, linked with our new book, Seek And Find Old Testament Stories. Ours says “God is Faithful”. I genuinely enjoyed colouring it and displaying it in my window. Maybe you would too.

All these things help me to cling to the Lord who generously gives intimacy, security and community to his children. This lockdown won’t last for ever. But while it does, we can know that we are safe in the shadow of God’s wings.