The challenge we all face: A personal reflection

Things have changed enormously since I was at school. Sex education for me, was an embarrassed biology teacher mumbling about plants and flowers, and what turned out to be rather speculative and misinformed rumours from the lads smoking behind the bike sheds.

Now we have a planned education system about families, relationships, sex and sexuality running from primary school onwards. On the one hand that's great: I've always thought it strange that we should be so coy and secretive about the realities of a subject so important and wonderful. On the other hand not so great: in that it is taught in a way that is "value free" - suggesting that homosexuality is a lifestyle choice like any other. Great in that it teaches not to persecute those who are different. Not so great in that it suggests that sex (properly protected) can be without consequences. 

I grew up in a culture that sniggered about homosexuality - one that called those with same-sex orientation all sorts of names that would not be tolerated today. But my daughters have grown up in a culture which is highly conscious of these different orientations - and who have been trained to leap on the slightest hint of homophobia.

We went through the usual agonies of Christian parents about whether to opt in or out of the sex education programme offered at school. We were one of the (very few) sets of parents at an information evening before it started. On balance we decided that for our family to be "in the world, but not of it" we should encourage our children to take part, but also to spend time discussing it at home, and giving a Christian perspective on things. We are instinctively against the "monastic approach to family life", rather extremely stereotyped by one woman who was looking at one of our teenage Bible study resources on a stand at a conference. When she found a reference to sex in it, she slammed it shut and said, "my daughter's not going to know anything about that until her wedding night!".

But it does sometimes lead to a clash of culture at home. Any time I  say anything that might be construed in the least bit critical of homosexuality, I am faced with an instinctive backlash from my children. They are yet to discover the complexities of how we can like and love someone, while at the same time be disapproving of attitudes they have and things they do. Parents are well trained in this by their children!

I'm not in any way innocent about the varieties of sexuality out there. One of the lesser known facts about me is that I worked as a professional dancer for a short time. In the ballet company, I was up close and personal with every kind of bohemian lifestyle you could care to name. Part of the reason why I did not persevere in that calling was that I knew my Christian faith would not stand the test of such an environment for very long. I followed Paul's advice to Timothy and fled from temptation.

But I also count among my very best and closest friends those who struggle with same-sex attraction as believers.  Many of them are doing well. Some of them have fallen from time to time, and it has been my privilege and joy as a brother to weep with them and help them stand again, not counting myself as any better than them. Others have found the path of self-sacrificial following too difficult and have given up. I pray not for ever.