There are 2 things that everyone engaged in biblical pastoral care needs:
The first is a Bible. No surprises there. It’s God’s living and active word (Hebrews 4:12) that transforms us by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:2). It’s pretty hard to be biblical without a Bible and any pastoral care that ignores the Bible runs a high risk of being little more than well-meant common wisdom.
The second is less well known. It is my contention and humble assertion that anyone involved in pastoral work needs a hippo. Not necessarily a real one - that could be cumbersome - but a small, unobtrusive toy or model hippo has value beyond measure.
Just in case the significance of a hippo isn’t immediately obvious, please allow me to explain.
When we see people who are hurting it can be tempting to want to make everything better: To heal their pain, to transform their circumstances, to make them see things from a different perspective, to increase their faith. Such instincts often spring from deep concern but they ignore one important fact: such roles are God’s remit not ours!
We worship an awesome God. One who can change hearts, minds and lives in accordance with his good purposes. He is intimately involved in his creation and his sovereignty and power are beyond measure. Job 38-41 sets out a whole host of activities that belong to the LORD and him alone. He knows how the earth was established (38:1-11); he is in charge of the stars (38:31-32); he gives horses their strength (39:19) and has the power to make a pet of the most ferocious beasts (41:1-5). He can transform pastoral situations, even seemingly intractable ones… he can do far more than we can even ask of imagine (Ephesians 3:20-21). We, on the other hand, are human – mortal, sinful and without a hint of omnipotence, omniscience or omnipresence.
In short – he can make a hippo and we can’t!
Our role in pastoral care is to be a prayerful signpost; a constant and confident witness to the greatness of God so that people who are struggling turn to him for comfort, transformation, hope, the strength to persevere and the promise of ultimate healing. Of course, there will be some practical things we can do as well … shopping, cleaning, babysitting, driving, reading the Scriptures together, encouraging self-control – things that help us carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). But we can’t change people. And any attempt to do so will only ever result in dashed expectations.
So next time you’re making a pastoral phone call in your capacity as minister, youth leader, home group leader or concerned brother or sister in Christ, why not have a hippo very firmly in your line of sight? I do. And it’s a great reminder that I’m merely human but I know the most awesome hippo-maker there is: the Lord who is faithful to his promises and loving towards all he has made (Psalm 145:13).
For more guidance on how to pray and support a suffering friend, check out 5 Things to Pray for a Suffering Friend.
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Helen Thorne-Allenson is Director of Training and Resources at Biblical Counselling UK. She formerly worked with the London City Mission and has written Hope in an Anxious World, Purity Is Possible, Walking with Domestic Abuse Sufferers and 5 Things to Pray for Your City. She is married to Nick, lives in Hampshire, UK and very much enjoys Korean food.
